i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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