Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
