My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
