So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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