McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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