It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
