I should be sponsored by Trojan
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
