Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize