Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
