i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
