Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
