Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
love makes seman taste better
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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