***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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