Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
