i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
