How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
