I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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