so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
