Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Already got asked if we're dating
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
