just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
