3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
4 words: hood of his car
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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