I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
