But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
