Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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