Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
