How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize