I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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