How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
