my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
