I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
