Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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