i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
