White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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