Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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