JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
there is glitter all over my balls
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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