His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
