fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
