dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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