I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
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