like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
