Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
