i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
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