is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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