Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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