only if we run a train.
done.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Hello my rib-scented angel!
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
