if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
did you just send me my own nude
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
