She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
