So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I wear drunk well.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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