My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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