Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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