Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
