morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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