good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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