last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
