her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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